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15 Sure Ways to Connect With Your Spouse

ways to build connection with your spouse

Baby girl, you’d agree with me that finding ways to connect with your spouse is one thing that keeps the union interesting.

But then the big question is, how can I connect with this man? ?

Okay… stop thinking about it.

Here are a few tricks to connecting with the man that makes you tick.?

Ways to create a connection with your spouse

These tips will help you connect with your spouse in unique ways that will keep the relationship strong.

Here they are;

1. Know what sparks emotions between you two:

It is almost impossible for strangers to go past the hi/hello period unless more meetings are scheduled to get to know each other.

It is the same thing between couples.

If you don’t make time out to get to know your spouse, you may not connect.

I mean, know what sparks different emotions.

Know what gets him angry and what makes him smile secretly.

Also, learn about the things that make him laugh uncontrollably and his hobbies.

Consciously find these things out and become the one who can “tune” him.

Watch and see a different level of connection when you master this act to your advantage.

Ways to Connect With Your Spouse

2. Be curious, ask questions; 

Keep asking questions even if you are the only one doing it, and it looks one-sided at the beginning.

Remember, you have an aim; keep asking about your partner’s past, present, and future desires.

This is you doing a huge part of building a connection.

3. Checkup in the day;

A buzz via text or call to just check up during the day is sweet.??

That time when your spouse is neck deep into work, a message from you saying such things as…

“My superman, this is your girl saying hi and blowing kisses from here. Take care of yourself.” 

… can go a long way to spark the heart up and get it connected to you.

4. Initiate and do activities you both enjoy; 

I intentionally put the word “initiate” there.

What that means is that you are the one to start it by yourself. 

Most women will always wait for the man to initiate everything, and if he doesn’t both, you will remain boooorrrrrrrrriiiing. ?

Baby girl, please initiate the games, encourage him to see a TV program with you.

The both of you should analyse the acts, plots and twists.

Laugh at the silly things you noticed and entertain yourself while you connect.

Helpful article:
8 Fun Activities to Do with Your Children During the Holidays

5. Say thank you for the slightest things ;

Mommy Mommy!!! 

How do you feel when your spouse appreciates you for what you do?

The feeling keeps you smiling sheepishly, huh?

That’s the same way the heartfelt appreciation you give your spouse for helping with the dishes, sweeping bathing the kids will go a long way.

It means you noticed, and you do appreciate his labour of Love.

This sends a message to him, and his heart goes out to do more.

6. Eye contacts;

Do you know what they say about the eyes being the window to the soul?

There’s a reason eye contact feels so intimate. 

Looking your partner in the eye is an easy way of forming a deep emotional connection.

Practice keeping eye contact during conversations.

7. Make out time to be silly; 

Indeed for this life, you can’t kill yourself.

Make some time out to laugh at yourselves, with yourselves.

Strong people are in the habit of smoothing down the rough edges of life with humour and are stronger for it.

8. Set a tech-free time; 

This technology has made connecting difficult.

Imagine this scene where everyone returns from work, eats dinner, and back to surfing the net… 

How will this connection happen, and when, please?

If you want this connection to happen, please create a time for No TV, No phone, No laptops, No podcasts. None of it.

Put up a  Schedule in the calendar and Use the free time to talk or play or plan. Stick to it.

And let this connection happen.

You will love this article:
How to Raise Digital-Savvy Kids in a Digital World

9. Take a walk together; 

You know, when the sun goes down, that kind of time when the bible says God came down to talk with Adam …ehen!!! 

That’s the time you should hold hands while taking a stroll.

It’s amazing how connected you’ll feel while doing something as simple as strolling along a path clutching palms with the person you love.

10. Relive Memories; 

You know the nostalgic feeling that comes with the phrase “do you remember when…?”

It reminds you two of where you used to be or where you are coming from.

Those beautiful memories you have shared and enjoyed.??

And these memories are a powerful form of connection.

11. Empathize with your spouse; 

The powerful tool called empathy goes a long way to growing a beautiful connection between you and your spouse.

Always try to put yourself in your spouse’ shoes and understand what they might be going through.

12. Know his love language and speak it; 

There are several love languages.

The book by Gary Chapman, The Five love languages, highlights some of which are;

  • Acts of service, 
  • Quality time, 
  • Words of affirmation, 
  • Physical touch, and
  • Giving gifts.

Study your spouse, know the language he understands and begin to speak it.

Sooner than you expect, you would connect.

13. Argue;

Ever heard of we disagree to agree, this is what I am talking about.

You see that argument, don’t shy away from it.

Argue constructively to sort things out.

Try to understand each other’s views better, without the aim of winning the argument.

It’s not a football game.

Arguments, when resolved amicably, helps build understanding and long term connection.

Read this helpful article:
Things to Avoid When Arguing With Your Spouse

14. Have sex;

Cough! Cough!! ?

Okay, get into “da oza room…”

You still don’t get it??

Get under those sheets and dig deep ?.

Be careful ooo, especially when you are not ready for baby 2, 3 or 10…?

Ensure that you are following your family planning schedule. 

If you don’t already have one, here is a detailed guide that will help you with family planning. 

15. Be your spouse’s Fan; 

Root for your spouse, be his No. 1 fan.

Be his cheerleader. 

Support his idea.

Use wisdom to make corrections.

See a little sense in the nonsense.

Look closer; let the nonsense idea make small sense to you.

Celebrate his wins.


A man’s go-to person is someone he connects with…

Be that person, Mamma!!

Don’t be the wife and mother to his kids while his sidekick is someone else.?

Finally, Mamma, know thy man!!!

Seek different ways to connect and get creative about it.

What works for sister Nkechi may not work for sister Bola.

So, find out for yourself those ways to connect with your spouse and enjoy your union.??

Always remember that motherhood is a journey made easy when we have the right people in our corner. ?

That said, click on this link to take you to the amazing world of motherhood

Keep being #fabulous ?

Rooting for you.

Viv ?

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