In this article, I will be sharing with you the lessons I’ve learned from being a Stay At Home Mom with 5 children.
Wait a minute… Did you say 5?
Are they all yours? Do you really have 5 kids? Was it buy-2-and-get-3-free with the kids?
I hope you’re done having kids now that you have 5 kids? Should we be expecting more kids?
Did you have multiple pregnancies?
Too many questions right?
All these questions and more are thrown at me every single time I mention that I’m a mom of 5.
Sometimes I can’t help but laugh out loud when people look at me with shock and bewilderment in their eyes.
While having a large number of children isn’t necessarily strange in our part of the world, what’s strange is having a presumed “educated and enlightened” mother have that number of children.
It’s totally fine.
I’ve never taken any offence to the constant prob and insinuations.
You see, the beautiful thing about my journey to motherhood is my embracing the whole process – the good, the bad and the ugly.
You name it, I own it all. It takes time but it’s totally possible.
How did we get here?
When I met my husband and we starting talking about marriage, we had both agreed to have just 2 kids.
You see, he comes from a large family of 10 children and I come from a large family of 8 children.
We always felt that having just 2 kids would mean that we would be able to adequately provide for them.
So how did we go from 2 to 5 kids?
Even I would like to know the answer to that question but that would be a story for another day.
So yes, I’m a busy mom of 5. But I can assure you that all the children are well catered to and absolutely loved.
What are the lessons I’m learning from being a Stay At Home Mom with 5 kids?
No two families are the same but we can all learn from each other’s experiences.
So here I’ll share the lessons I’ve learnt from being a mom of multiple children.
1. Being a mom is challenging no matter the number of children you have
This is the very first lesson I learned.
Having 5 children is hard but so does having 2 children or even 1 child.
What you make out of the opportunity of being a mom is what matters.
2. Every child is unique in his or her own way
While children don’t come with their own manuals, you need to treach each child differently from the others.
This is because while some children want to be hugged and held all the time, others aren’t up for the touch and only want to be spoken to kindly.
Every one of my children has a love language and I don’t generalize their feelings.
3. Getting pregnant and going into labour was and is still scary to me
Ah! Is it possible for a mother of 5 to be scared of getting pregnant? Of course!!
Even though all of my pregnancies were alike, it still felt different in some ways.
I do not look forward to pregnancy and delivery for all of the children.
4. Patience is underrated
Children will teach you the act of patience while still being the most impatient people on planet earth.
Having one child taught me that life isn’t that much about the rush.
Then came my second who taught me how to spell the first letter in PATIENCE.
By the time I got to the last baby, I can comfortably count 1000 sheep while waiting to fall asleep.
This lesson has indeed helped me to navigate difficult and nerve cracking times.
5. My actions are of more significance than my words
Children would listen to you speak, but they would mould your actions more.
For every lesson, I taught my children, the one that stuck more are the ones they watch me do.
Watch your actions because they speak louder than words.
6. I have to be a “present” mom
As a parent, you play an active role in the moulding of the children’s character.
The role cannot be pushed over or coveted by someone else.
Once you take your eyes off the children especially while young, bad things can happen.
While aiming for the world isn’t necessarily a bad idea, I’ve learned to prioritize because you snooze and blink, the kids are grown.
I wouldn’t want to miss out on their growth milestones.
7. It’s not just all about me
I’m the last person in the grand scheme of things.
I’m not preaching self-neglect.
No! Far from it.
I put the needs of my family and especially my children first on a daily basis.
I found out that when the family is happy and settled, I find the inner strength and joy to then become who I want to be.
So here is what works for us, I put my hubby first and he, in turn, puts me first.
What happens then? We begin to do things that would make life easier for both of us.
Same way when I put the kids first, my actions begin to make life easy for them and in turn life becomes easy for me too.
8. I love being a mom.
I’ve come to enjoy being called mommy.
Nothing gives me as much joy as hearing my daughter scream out my name when she’s excited about something or my son call mommy from across the room.
While I’ve answered a lot of name in all my years of existence, the best so far has to be MOMMY.
9. I live each day like it’s my last
We’re not guaranteed the next minute so why waste time on frivolities.
I remember the first day I took my first pregnancy test.
Today she’s 11 years old.
I remember being anxious for the next baby and today she’s 10.
I also remember my shock at finding out that we were expecting our 5th child and today he’s 9 months old.
So I’m deliberately and intentionally enjoying the journey called motherhood.
I hope that you can enjoy it with me.
Remember that no two journeys are alike.
While you’re at it, surround yourself with like minds.
Looking for support and inspiration from a wonderful group of moms like yourself?