My SAHM Story: 14 Years of Being a Stay At Home Mom and Counting
30th of November 2007 was the day my “Stay At Home Mom” journey started.
I took a decision on a whim, to quit my high flying job in the bank and instead start my family.
A decision that shocked my hubby as he didn’t see it coming!
14 years later, I have zero regrets.
But not without all the hullabaloos that come with motherhood.
I sometimes still question my decision and wish for some sort of validation.
You know that feeling like a “failure” thingy.
It doesn’t completely go away without much effort and hard work.
- Are you a Stay At Home Mom?
- Do you struggle with the decision you took?
- Was the position forced on you?
- Do you crave validation?
I’ll be sharing some insights from my journey so far.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
We can get through this journey together.
I will start by discussing everything you need to know about being a Stay At Home Mom.
Of course! Definition of terms will come first and then we’ll go into tips and tricks.
So, let’s find out, what does being a Stay At Home Mom actually mean?
What does it mean to be a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)?
A Stay At Home Mom or SAHM is a married woman who stays at home all day to take care of her children and manage her household while the partner works to financially provide for the family.
In simpler terms, you can regard a SAHM to be a typical housewife or homemaker.
I know some people are not comfortable being called a housewife.
Well, you don’t have to see this as an insult.
You are a homemaker.
I am a proud mother of five super awesome kids.
Believe me, when I say being a Stay At Home Mom or housewife or homemaker can be tedious.
As a result, you need to take a pause sometimes and give yourself some accolades for all that you do.
Just ignore the moniker and enjoy the fruits of your labour.
What does a Stay At Home Mom do all day?
When some people hear “Stay At Home Mom” the first thing that comes to mind is a sleeping lazy mother.
LOL!! I laugh in Spanish!
These people don’t understand the reality of things happening to us.
In fact, some of us cannot say what we do all day that makes us so exhausted.
Our job as SAHMs is like those jobs that you do over and over again to the point where you don’t even consider it to be a task anymore.
I’m sure that’s the case with many Stay At Home Moms.
As a result, it’s almost very difficult for you to take that pause and give yourself the accolades you deserve.
So, for you to better appreciate the heroic work you do every day, let me highlight some of the things SAHMs do.
Perhaps, you will see some similarities in the roles.
What are the roles of Stay At Home Moms?
1. Child care or family care.
Every good parent can relate to this role.
However, you will begin to understand the level of work in this when you start doing it full-time.
This may include taking kids to and from school, after-school activities, and weekend sports.
As a SAHM, you may also schedule and coordinate medical and other appointments for the family.
As a Stay At Home Mom, every housework is on you.
For instance, you have to do the cooking of meals, cleaning, laundry, and house maintenance.
You also have to do grocery shopping once in a while as part of your stay-at-home tasks.
Even managing the nanny or mom helper is still a daunting task because most times, you’ll have to micro-manage them too.
3. Working from home.
Gone are the days when being a SAHM means that your ability to earn has been cut off.
Nah Nah Nah!!
Not in today’s world baby.
In this economy, the stay-at-home parent may work from home for extra income while also taking care of the children.
Technology just knows a way to make the impossible possible.
As a SAHM, you may not be the primary breadwinner, however, you have a duty to manage the family finances.
You have a role to play to ensure that the family finances are intact.
For instance, you may need to create budgets for food and other costs.
What are the Potential Challenges of being a SAHM
Did anyone promise you that becoming a SAHM would be a bed of roses?
Oh dear, the journey is definitely not a smooth one.
But you can also find solace in knowing that you are adding value to the lives of your hubby and children.
When I first started as a SAHM, here are a few challenges I faced.
- Feeling inadequate
- You will lose your identity especially if you once had a job.
- There will be days of loneliness and isolation
- Absolute financial dependence, especially at the early stage
- People will judge you and influence your decision.
- Idleness because the idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
- Lack of self-care to name but a few.
Dear Mamma, these challenges are common to every SAHM.
So, you see. You are not alone and I promise you will never walk alone.
We are on this journey together.
If you have not done so yet, follow me on Instagram @amumandmore_ because I will love to have this walk with you as a fellow SAHM.
Is being a Stay At Home Mom a full-time job?
Well, whether being a SAHM is a full-time job will depend on how you see it.
It is true that being a Stay At Home Mom is not a real job.
But in most cases, those who bring up this argument just want to make us feel less of a valuable contributor to society.
They are always like… “Hello!! You stay at home all day and do nothing.”
In fact, a few years after I left my job to be a full-time SAHM, the despair set in.
I couldn’t help but question my value to the family.
When the kids started coming, I became more desperate as I depended on my hubby for every little expense.
I know how it feels to not contribute anything monetary to the home.
Especially if you used to do so in the past.
But guess what? You’re
– A Nanny
– A Cook
– A Teacher
– A Doctor
– A Plumber
– A Psychologist
– A Hype woman
– A Coach
– An Encyclopedia
– You name it!
You may not be bringing monetary value into the home, but you’re definitely adding more value to the lives of your children.
Can a Stay At Home Mom make money?
Isn’t it wonderful what the internet is doing for us today?
Making money as a stay-at-home mom is now easier than it once was.
The internet allows moms to generate a new stream of income with flexible, online work.
This type of work allows you to make money when you have a few extra moments.
For instance, it could be when the kids are off at school, napping or hanging with their grandparents.
Those few precious moments can fetch you tons of money if you put in the work.
And before you start crying about the fact that you are not tech-savvy, there are other ways too.
You just have to look for opportunities and take advantage of them.
But it will do you a lot of good if you started learning how to use these new technologies.
Is being a Stay At Home Mom easy?
From my experience, it’s definitely not easy to be a Stay At Home Mom.
Especially during holidays and weekends when they are fully at home with me.
For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic, I struggled to have my kids join their online classes. Imagine having 4 kids join online classes at the same time. That meant 4 laptops plus extra internet access. Plus a newborn who was glued to my boobs the whole time.
Honestly, it was a tough fight.
There were times I shouted till I lost my voice.
Other times, I just rolled my eyes.
And when it gets to my nerve, I just played the ‘silence’ game.
I just wonder how their teachers manage to take care of so many children from different families.
So, yes!! Being a stay-at-home mom can be difficult on some days and really fun on other days.
But the interesting thing is that it is very satisfying to watch my kids grow under proper supervision.
Do I regret the decision of being a SAHM?
I don’t regret any bit of my decision.
In fact, becoming a Stay At Home Mom is one of the best decisions I ever made.
I look back at my journey from 14 years ago and I can tell you it’s all worth it.
It’s such a beautiful ride and moving forward, I want to share all my experiences with you.
So let me know in the comment section what you will like to know about my journey as a SAHM.
I am ready to tell you everything.
So, I am looking forward to your comments and replies, until then, keep being #fabulous? .
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