How to Discuss the Subject of Family Planning With Your Spouse
The arrival of a new baby always brings about more responsibilities in the family. Therefore, you need to have some discussions with your hubby before your delivery.
Besides responsibility, there are so many ways to raise a child.
As a result, you and your hubby may have different philosophies when it comes to raising your child.
So, what’s important is that you discuss your preferences and come to a resolution or compromise if there are areas where you have differences of opinion.
In this article, we will be looking at some of those topics you can and should discuss with your partner before the baby arrives.
What are the main topics to discuss?
Below are some of the crucial topics that you and your hubby must talk about.
These topics will help you to prepare your mind for what lies ahead of you.
Believe, having a baby is not easy.
Yeah, I know that children are a blessing from God.
But if we are going, to be honest with ourselves, they are not easy to care for.
Sometimes, you may become tired and may need a little help here and there.
So, for you to be sure that you and hubby are on the same page on the topic of pregnancy, have these conversations with him.
1. How shall we handle our baby’s midnight crying and requests?
The keyword here is “we.”
This does not mean you have to challenge your husband’s authority.
But as a loving partner, your hubby should be willing to feed the baby while you sleep a little.
Even if your hubby is not willing to help at night, you can discuss with him how he should wake you from sleep.
You might work a nighttime signal with him – like a tap on the shoulder.
2. Which religion will the family practice?
Religion is a very important knot that ties many families together.
As a result, many children end up practising the religion of their parents.
Also, when it comes to religious practices, there is always a bias.
You as the mom will like to have your children practice the same faith as you.
At the same time, your hubby will like to do the same.
So, if you don’t talk about religion before having any child, this may cause a divide in the long run.
Discussing religion openly will help you both understand how religion will play a role in your baby’s upbringing.
3. Have a conversation about finances:
Money is always the starting point of many problems.
Therefore, you must discuss how you and your hubby will manage financially when you are on maternity leave.
In this case, draw up a budget so you will have a clear idea of regular income and expenses.
Now, go ahead and factor in the cost of baby stuff.
Doing this will save your marriage from the lack.
That is because both you and hubby will plan other means of making money to support the family.
Helpful article:
How To Make Money as a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)
4. Talk about your housing situation:
In this case, you should be talking about the size of your house with your hubby.
Is where you’re living likely to be big enough for all of you?
If the answer is no, then you need to move to a new apartment.
Also, make sure that you move before your third trimester so that you have enough time to settle down before the baby arrives.
If you have other grown-up children, then they can help you with some of the house chores.
5. What will childcare be like?
If you are a working-class mom, then you may have very limited time for maternity leave.
As a result, it may get to a point when you may need to register your child in daycare.
Even moms who are planning on staying at home might be interested in occasionally getting a babysitter.
So, you need to have this conversation to know your hubby’s concerns when it comes to who cares for the baby.
If there is a need to get a babysitter, then you can agree on that.
Also, if hubby wants to be involved as well then that’s beautiful.
But you can only know when you have that conversation.
What are the ways to have pregnancy conversations with your hubby?
Now that you know the conversations to have with your hubby during pregnancy, how do you present them to him?
How do you start this conversation and when is the right time to do so?
Here are a few tips that may help.
1. Choose a good time:
You don’t just pop these questions at any time because you feel you are very close to hubby.
Avoid waking him up in the middle of the night when he is just starting to enjoy his sleep.
Also, avoid this conversation when he is stressed and tired.
Instead, pick a time when you’re both feeling calm and relaxed.
At such times, he will be calm and reason the points with you.
2. Have a discussion and not an argument:
Men love to have their peace and they avoid anything or anyone who will take that peace away from them.
If you find that you are not giving your husband peace, then it’s probably because you are not happy.
You need to start practising these habits of happy Stay At Home Moms.
When you are happy and calm, there will be no need for arguments and hurtful statements.
Helpful article:
Things to Avoid When Arguing With Your Spouse
3. Give your hubby time to consider your points:
Whether it was you or your hubby who set up the conversation, you must have healthy communication.
Having a healthy conversation includes giving your partner time and space to consider how they feel and reply if you pose a question.
Avoid feeling you need to fill pauses in the conversation.
Many people don’t know how they feel until they start talking and then begin to feel more clarity.
So, give your hubby all the time that he needs to consider all variables.
4. Avoid comparisons during the conversation:
There is absolutely no need for comparisons when you are having pregnancy conversations with hubby.
Don’t bring conversations like “Sharon and her husband did a pregnancy photoshoot, so we must do the same.”
Men don’t like that.
And like a good wife, such comparison should never come from you.
Conclusion
Marriages begin with just the man and the woman but with the arrival of a baby, everything changes.
So, it is a good thing to plan ahead and discuss with hubby concerning your pregnancy.
That’s why you too have to be knowledgeable about what to expect during pregnancy and after pregnancy.
So that when it is time to have this conversation with your hubby, you will know the right questions to ask.
Please, send this article to every woman who is expecting a baby.
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Love & Light
Viv 🧡