We’re about to have a serious conversation here, Maama. Domestic Violence has been trending recently. We hear in the news that a famous female Gospel Singer, Mrs. Osinachi Nwachukwu, passed away allegedly as a result of domestic violence. This came as a rude shock and has awakened the debate on this subject matter.
Has your spouse ever hit you before? If that’s the case, you probably didn’t know what to do at first. You were taken aback.
You may have retaliated as you realized what had just transpired. Alternatively, you may have broken down in tears.
You might have tried to flee, fearful of what would happen next. I have no idea what you did because the emotions that spouses experience are so diverse that it defies categorization.
How do you deal with an abusive partner? Is running away the solution? Or fighting back? Or alerting the police?
In this article, I’ll be sharing some of the best ways you can deal with an abusive partner, as the case may be.
Why you shouldn’t endure an abusive partner
Before we go deep into the ways of dealing with domestic violence, I need to let you know that there are some dangers if you choose to endure it.
Many people believe that an emotional outburst in which one spouse loses control and slaps the other during an argument is a typical occurrence in marriage.
When it occurs for the first time, they believe it is something they should be able to forgive and move on from.
However, it is just too dangerous to ignore. I’m not going to judge you if you have been silent about this matter, but I’m writing this to help you find help in the best possible way.
Also, your children can be affected by the atmosphere in the home and can grow into believing abuse is part of marital vows.
How to deal with domestic violence
If you’ve been enduring it for a long time and you don’t know what to do about it, I’ll be sharing some of my best tips with you. Stay with me.
Don’t resist separation
I understand that it might not be easy to leave an abusive partner for many reasons.
Some victims of physical violence consider themselves to blame for the abuse—they feel that they deserved to be punished for what they did or said.
If they were to avoid upsetting their spouse, or if they had been a better spouse, they would not be at risk.
However, that argument ignores that nothing done in marriage, even having an affair, deserves a physical attack from a spouse.
Some people are just as violent with their partners as they are with them.
They don’t want to split up since they want to equal the score in the end. Both partners are at risk in these situations, resulting in lifelong damage or even death.
Some people are so emotionally or financially connected to a violent spouse that they would rather risk the consequences than exit the relationship.
Maama, whatever reasons you might have for staying in a violent relationship, the dangers they accept are not justified.
Don’t endure it; leave. Abusive behavior was never intended to be a part of God’s plan for a marriage or a family, and it never will be.
Do not attempt to change things on your own. You will require assistance during the rehabilitation process, as well as when dealing with the abuse in your married connection.
This is an excellent time to build critical relationships in your life, such as your family, good friends, and others.
If your husband has distanced you from these ties, they may be estranged.
These individuals can be of tremendous assistance to you; they can offer a listening ear, a place to stay, financial aid, and various other services in your time of need. If the scenario is unsafe, they can also assist in providing safety.
Seek help from law enforcement agencies too. The general public has finally realized how harmful it is and that it should be treated as a crime punishable by prison time.
It is no longer considered a personal matter between a husband and wife.
Bringing law enforcement into the problem of domestic violence is a vital step in protecting victims and saving marriages, as I’ve seen in case after case. Yes, marriages can be saved.
Seek help for your partner in any situation where a violent spouse refuses to see a certified anger management therapist. As a result, I will advise a divorce in those cases.
I will only encourage these victims to give their abusive spouses a chance to rehabilitate themselves if the violent spouse is willing to enroll in such a program.
Also, outside friends and counselors can assist you in learning about your legal rights to protect and assist you as a person, a wife, and a mother.
To keep your violent spouse away, you have protective rights, such as restraining orders. There are custody rights, property rights, and financial rights, among other things.
Take measures to stay safe
If you are afraid for your safety, leave an abusive relationship because your partner has agreed to seek therapy.
First and foremost, get yourself and your children to safety, and then encourage them to seek the assistance he requires. Leaving and remaining away until this occurs may provide him with the incentive to make such a significant life change.
If you leave your house to avoid physical assault, your husband may perceive your departure as betrayal or rejection.
As a result, he may become even more violent. You should seek outside advice and guidance while creating your safety plan. You may require police assistance and protection.
Ask for God’s Help
Even as you make an effort to leave an abusive home by your human strength, do not forget the place of prayers.
Abuse should never be tolerated. Never. Certain things happen to people that endure abuse in marriage or a relationship – death or lifetime damage.
Contact the police when the case gets out of hand. Separate from the abusive partner. Whatever you decide to do keeps you safe, do it, but never stay.
Please Note: This article was written solely for women abused by their husbands. I understand that sometimes women are abusive towards their husbands. If this is you, then you need to seek help too.
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