Have you ever wished you could be the mum who enjoys all things crafty and artistic with her children? Or do you wish you were better organized with charts, calendars, and strict boundaries? There are numerous types of mothers. Have you ever considered which type of mother you are?
Our parenting style is influenced not only by our beliefs but also by who we are. Because we have diverse personalities, we will parent in different ways. Knowing our personalities allows us to accept our parenting style and maximize our strengths while minimizing our faults.
The Enneagram, which defines twelve types of mothers, is one method for determining your parenting style. Take the quiz to determine your top strengths and weaknesses as a mum of each category. Which one are you?
1. The Helicopter Mother
The helicopter mom is undoubtedly one of the most well-known sorts on the list.
What exactly does the phrase mean? It refers to parents who believe they can’t leave their child alone, even for a few minutes, to be with his friends or, God forbid, to make his or her own decisions.
It refers to parents who feel the need to treat their child like a chess piece, planning out every single one of his movements and never giving him or her any power over his own life.
While this makes the children of these mothers safer, it also makes them less autonomous, less self-confident and frightened to venture out on their own.
Children of helicopter moms tend to lack critical thinking and rely on their mother’s advice in everything, which can become a core element of their character that is difficult to break if caught too late.
Most mothers who engage in this type of activity aren’t consciously aware of the harm it does to their children.
They believe that what they are doing is good for their children, and in some ways, it is.
However, there is a narrow line between being a protective parent and being overprotective.
While it may appear that parents are protecting their children from the perils of the world, big and small, awful things do happen so that the youngster might obtain some life experience.
Children must venture out on their own to learn how to make good and bad decisions.
Remember that your youngster will not always have his parents around him and will eventually need to be self-sufficient.
But that will not happen if he is not permitted to make any decisions that may alter the course of his life.
Let me tell you, as someone who has been on both sides of the coin, it’s not pretty.
I felt lost a lot as a child in this relationship, but I always felt the need to make my mom happy, so I never spoke up.
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Many children will not, for the same reason, and may go their entire lives without informing their mother of a problem.
When I was a new mother with my first child, I vowed I would never do the same thing again.
However, as my concerns for my child’s safety grew in response to the constant barrage of negative news, I gradually slipped into that region myself.
Fortunately, my husband assisted me in recognizing the connections between my mother and myself in the past.
I was able to swerve away from it before it was too late and it became a codependent relationship.
2. The Perfectionist Mother
A domineering, scared, and worried woman who values looks above all else. Her children are often self-critical, feeling inadequate and emotionally empty.
A perfectionist mother’s children have a strong sense of commitment in relationships and are responsible and reliable in everything they do. They regard hard effort and perseverance as key character traits.
A youngster raised by a perfectionist mother will always feel that the views of others are considerably more important than his own. He frequently gets a heightened impression that the entire world is watching and judging him.
3. The Unpredictable Mother
The unpredictable mother is anxious, angry, and emotional, and her parenting approach is solely dependent on mood. This mother has the ability to create problems, issues, and crises in her own head, through emotions and relationships, and then transfer them to her children.
Children with unpredictable mothers have exceptional people skills and the ability to empathize.
They can provide emotional support to both coworkers and friends and family. A child raised by an unpredictable mother will grow up with an engrained need to care for people and their emotional problems.
Emotions such as wrath, worry, and melancholy can overwhelm them. These youngsters are taught from a young age how to read people and circumstances in order to control them.
4. The Best Friend Type of Mothers
To escape the obligation of setting boundaries, this mother prefers treating her children as equals. She believes that embracing parenthood will be the end of her life, therefore she avoids it.
Instead, both the child and the parent adopt the roles of emotional confidante and companion, effectively leaving the child motherless. In this case, the mother is reliant on her child to meet her emotional requirements.
Children of a best friend’s mother recognize the value of setting boundaries between parents, children, colleagues, and families. Because they have a sense of motherlessness, they are typically aware that as adults, they should take the lead and undertake responsibility. They may feel emotionally ignored and fearful of rejection. In partnerships, they can be resentful.
5. The Type of Mothers Who Comes First
Me-first mothers, who are one of the most common mothering styles, are unable to see their children as different individuals. They are self-absorbed and insecure. Their children will learn from an early age that it is their responsibility to make their mother shine.
Children of a me-first mother are excellent at assisting others and are perceptive and insightful in all types of interactions.
They are devoted and supportive, and they are able to understand and solve difficulties for others.
Emotionally, kids may question their ability to make decisions, finding it difficult to trust their own sentiments on any subject because their mother’s view is more essential and strong than their own.
6. The Whole Mother
The full mother incorporates the best characteristics of the previous four forms. She can view her children as individuals and assist them in achieving their own freedom since she is emotionally balanced.
She isn’t flawless, but regardless of her emotional state, she is dedicated to motherhood. Children of a devoted mother feel loved and understood. They feel free to take risks, embrace change, and form relationships without fear of rejection.
Emotionally, as they mature, they will gain the ability and insight to recognize that other people, colleagues, and family members all have different points of view. They will be able to manage the hurdles of becoming independent and will no longer be emotionally attached to their mother.
7. The Wine Mums
While not as awful as the previous two, the wine mom is overburdened with parental duties.
Usually, a glass of wine with her other mum’s friends helps her unwind as the kids play.
Although a glass of wine won’t damage you, if you don’t know how to manage it, alcohol will always do more harm than good.
If you fall into the category of this type of mum, be careful not to overdo it.
One glass with your fellow moms once in a while won’t hurt, but if you start increasing your intake, you could be on a slippery path to an alcohol issue.
This issue will have a detrimental impact on your children and will set a poor example for them, as you are most likely one of their primary role models.
8. The Workout Type of Mothers
Here’s another type of mother you’ll want to befriend! This mom is all about health and fitness, and she is always in shape. She is likely the first to lose postpartum weight since she follows the optimal post-baby diet.
While I can’t picture myself being as active as one of these mothers (though I do my hardest), these women are a joy to be around.
They always brighten up the atmosphere and can even serve as a fitness inspiration to the rest of their mom buddies.
That’s because it’s much simpler to relate to someone who has faced similar challenges as you but persevered and triumphed.
Not to mention that they are almost always willing to lend a helping hand to anyone else who is attempting to accomplish the same.
I just hope you don’t run into a group of extremely competitive moms, as this might have the opposite impact.
9. The Pessisimistic Type of Mothers
Every mom falls into this group at some point. Especially if she is a single mom raising children on her own or a new mom with no parenting experience.
They’re easy to detect in your circle of parent pals since they usually seem tired or are continually talking about the difficulties of motherhood without doing much to change the status quo.
Although their sympathetic ways of discussing parent difficulties might be humorous, they can also be draining at times.
If you see one of your friends trapped in a rut like this, reach out to her and explain that many of these issues are just transitory. And that we all signed up for these challenges.
10. The Social Media Types of Mothers
While many people find the trend of uploading images of their children online to be entertaining and thrilling, I personally despise it.
Not for myself, but for my children. I may be a little old-fashioned, but I respect their privacy.
I don’t want to be the mom who posts embarrassing child images online for all to see.
If I want to save these photos, I keep them in a different folder and only allow family members, if any, to see them.
Social media moms, will spend every waking second telling their friends about their amazing time with their kids.
In actuality, though, they spend more time staring at their phones than playing with their children.
It is modern society’s plague. We must adapt to the changes, but there must be a balance, otherwise, we risk alienating our children by not giving them enough attention.
Use every opportunity to show them how much you appreciate them, and don’t prioritize the phone screen over their delight.
11. The Health Conscious Type of Mothers
There are some who are obsessed with health but in a rather extreme manner.
These mothers often go to great lengths to ensure that their families lead healthy lives.
They often avoid eating any and all processed foods. They are consistently the first people to adopt the latest trends in superfoods.
These are the kinds of mothers who end up breastfeeding their infants for an extended period of time. They make their children eat a variety of foods without providing them with much of a say in the matter.
Some of the most extreme cases would put their children in a safe environment for the rest of their lives because they are terrified of anything that is associated with modern medicine or processed meals. This would be the situation in some of the most extreme cases.
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Even while I’m all for maintaining a healthy lifestyle and enjoy eating greens most of the time, I’m also thankful for the breakthroughs that have been made in medicine. And I applaud those developments for keeping us safe from diseases that are no longer common.
I would also never coerce my children into following the same diets that I do since I believe that children should have the freedom to choose for themselves.
Not to mention the fact that kids should be given a reward every once in a while, and fruit is not going to cut it every time!
It is my hope that you are aware that, despite the fact that your children are your biological offspring, they are also distinct individuals in their own right. As such, it is unethical to demand of them that they adopt the values and practices of their parents. Unfortunately, many mothers are ignorant of this fact.
12. The Confidence-Builder and Peacemaker
This woman’s parenting style can be described as laid-back, welcoming, compassionate, and peaceful. She maintains a home that is comfortable, secure, and free of turmoil, and she gives her family her support.
With this well-thought article, you should be able to deduce the type of mother you are and also learn not to overdo things.
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