While this is a more mum-centric blog, and I take great delight in sharing my advice and experiences with every mum out there, today I want to talk about the other parent in the relationship: the Dad. Or, more precisely, the responsibilities of a father in the family especially with respect to child development.
I’ve previously discussed how difficult it is to be a mother, but fatherhood may be just as challenging and important in family life, especially in shaping how your children grow up.
Sure, the present assumption is that fathers are either sloppy or completely inept at being involved in their children’s lives, but the media has never really portrayed that properly.
Remember that just because fathers are sometimes depicted negatively does not mean that they don’t know how to approach child-rearing. Otherwise, there would be no reason for a guy to be a part of a relationship after the child was born.
Fathers continue to play a vital disciplinary and emotional role in their children’s lives.
While both parents provide equal levels of support, the responsibilities of a father include being a disciplinarian – teaching children about responsibility and discerning right from wrong, as well as helping to form crucial components of your child’s character.
10 Responsibilities of A Good Father
1. Striking a balance between discipline and enjoyment
While disciplining has its benefits, there must also be a balance between discipline and fun.
You must understand that your children are not robots, and they will not respond well to being repeatedly reminded that what they are doing is wrong or evil.
You must know when to slow down and take a breather. Being an authoritarian parent has never resulted in anything positive.
It is up to you to assist in creating your child’s character, therefore being firm yet fair is the way to go.
Mums cannot be everywhere at once; being a mum is difficult enough, and you must be as much a part of your child’s life as your wife.
Having fun with your children, and making them smile and laugh, are the delights of parenthood!
2. Serving as a positive role model
Even if they declare they don’t like you or get into a dispute with you, children frequently emulate their parents.
So, what you do in your daily life and your interactions with them is a very crucial aspect of your child’s development that you must take care of.
Your role as a parent is to teach them, among other things, how to keep a cool head in stressful times, how to stand up for themselves, and how to treat people with respect.
It will have a beneficial impact on your child and will be critical in influencing their future development.
Your daughters will look for those characteristics in the people they choose for future relationships, whilst your sons will use it as a guide for how to best portray themselves when they’re older.
3. Taking care of the family
While we are well past traditional gender roles of the twentieth century and households are becoming much more diverse, with the duty of provider sometimes passing to the mother, or even both parents, because the economy isn’t particularly forgiving, the truth remains that you should still contribute.
Because raising children is not inexpensive, a financially responsible parent is a good father.
Having children increases your expenses significantly. I should know because I shop for my kids, who grow out of their clothes quickly.
ALSO READ: 15+ Important Responsibilities Of A Mother
And that’s not the only thing you should be concerned about. Food, toys, books, school supplies, extracurricular activities, tuition, and so on are also included.
As things stand, it’s critical to generate an income for the family in order to meet all of these bills, and being the provider comes with a lot of responsibility and stress – something you men tend to handle better than us women in some circumstances.
Again, the idea isn’t to provide for every little thing; it’s not to be an indulgent parent and spoil your children, but the necessities are necessities.
Your children will appreciate knowing that they have a financially responsible father in the house who pays attention to them, shows that they matter and are valued, that their father is doing everything he can to give them a better life and, as a result, will have a better relationship with you and the mother.
4. Keeping a good family bond
Healthy connections are the foundation of a good life in general, not just in happy families. And yours should be no exception.
Every other member of your household’s relationship is significant and equally important.
Possibly the most important is your relationship with your partner and finding common ground whenever possible, especially amid potential disagreements.
The worst thing you can do to a child is to put them through a divorce.
You don’t have to be an expert to understand how upsetting that can be for a youngster and how potentially catastrophic it can be for their development.
When we were in high school, a friend of mine went through one, and it had a negative effect on her schoolwork, social life, self-esteem, and everything else. She became much more introverted and quiet.
Fortunately, she recovered, but it was a long period of misery for her, being forced to choose between the two parents, believing she was the cause of the divorce, that it was somehow her fault, which is why she didn’t want to socialize anymore in case some other friendships ended because of her, despite the fact that they were for completely different reasons.
Don’t misunderstand me. It is not your entire obligation to keep your marriage and children happy.
Modern parenting is a collaborative endeavour. Tango and all that jazz require two people.
You and your spouse both need to maintain and encourage mutual respect and understanding. Learn how to be adaptable and compromise when an issue arises.
5. Be an involved parent and be present for your children
You’re a parent, you probably work 8 hours a day, if not more, your job is mentally demanding, and you do everything you can to provide for your family.
With a proper sleep pattern and household chores, you have little time for yourself, let alone the rest of your family.
With that stated, the same usually applies to your relationship, but your children require your attention and your presence if any problems emerge.
Your spouse will have more time with them if they stay at home, but children need both their father and mother.
Not to add, she shouldn’t be doing it all by herself. When it comes to overnight diaper changes, showering the infant, bottle-feeding, and so on, both parents should take turns.
Even if your spare time is limited, make an effort to organize yourself so that you can spend it with your children. Include children in any chores you have, such as painting a fence or cleaning up the garage.
Begin early; three and four-year-olds may handle minor chores. Even going to the grocery store counts.
Alternatively, plan a weekend getaway to the country, take your toddler to the beach, or do something similar.
It does not necessarily have to be about bonding over responsibilities; it may be about doing something relaxed and enjoyable.
It will allow you two to catch up on what’s been going on in their lives and share your own thoughts and advice in any situation/dilemma they may find themselves in.
6. Separate your relationships
I don’t mean for you to have an affair or anything like that. What I mean is that you should keep your connections with your children and your partner separate so that if you ever have a disagreement with your partner, your children will not suffer.
After all, they are what matters. This is especially true in the case of divorce, but it does happen more frequently than not in the United States.
A child might suffer greatly if one parent abruptly ceases to be a part of their life.
Try not to let that happen, and make sure they know you still care about them and haven’t forgotten about them. Don’t make them feel bad for any reason.
7. Accepting fatherly obligations
In the end, it all comes down to you accepting the position that has been assigned to you. I can’t really advise you to buck up and be a good dad.
No, you should understand that you will make mistakes from time to time, but that’s just human – as well as the fact that no two fathers are alike, and everyone has a unique approach to parenting their children.
There is no such thing as a perfect anything, even a perfect father, but it is a father’s responsibility to be the best father he can be.
8. Consider your own childhood
One thing I always emphasize is that your own life can be your best lesson. The same is true for future fathers and mothers.
Consider how your father treated you and draw lessons from it.
Find out what was excellent and what was awful so you can eliminate what you don’t want your own child to go through and what you consider an excellent parenting guideline.
9. Communicate with your children
By communication, I don’t just mean coming up with amusing nicknames for your child or son and constantly teasing them. I also mean discussing “important” topics with your children, even if it is uncomfortable.
While this relates to being present for your children, it’s crucial for them to hear you, if only through a phone call, letting them know that occasionally you just can’t do things due to obligations or health concerns.
ALSO READ: The Failproof Guide to Become a Hands-On Dad
It’s far better for kids to know there’s a reason behind some of your decisions than for you to simply say it because “you’re right” and you’re an adult.
It will make them feel better about themselves and show them that you care enough about them to explain things to them.
Fathers can instil in their children a feeling of accountability. It is critical that children understand the value of accountability in their lives, and it is preferable if this is taught to them by their parents at a young age.
Responsibilities are great, however…
Your body, unlike proper fatherhood, has boundaries. Keeping track of everything might be difficult. When contemplating these steps, keep your health in mind; not every home is the same.
Your work hours may be longer, your life may be busier due to other obligations, you may become ill, or you may simply feel overwhelmed with everything and need a break.
Dads are human beings, too, and you are no exception. You simply will not be able to perform the tasks of a parent at your best if you are not emotionally and physically well, so make sure you constantly have time to unwind and take a burden off.
Conclusion On Responsibilities Of A Father
A father’s obligations are just as important as a mother’s and should not be overlooked.
While it is important to keep them, don’t take on more than you can bear too often or you may break.
Know that even if you can’t do all that someone else can, your efforts are valued and that your children and partner will support you if you make it clear enough.
Normally, I address all the mothers, but this one is all about you guys: the dads who have long fantasized about holding their baby in their arms, the dads who play dress-up for hours, the dads who will do anything to make their kids happy.
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