Building self-confidence in your child is one of your fundamental duties as a mom.
Self-confidence and self-esteem are closely related.
Self-esteem is how one sees himself and it has to do with having confidence in what you do.
On the other hand, self-confidence has to do with confidence in one’s abilities, especially in a particular area.
The two are closely related and an increase in self-esteem will lead to an increase in self-confidence.
From a child’s first day through adulthood, parents have a very important role to play in their lives.
Of course, the primary duty of a parent is to raise responsible children but there’s more to parenting than that.
After all, no one wants a responsible man who lacks confidence in himself.
The same can be said for a woman.
The way a parent interacts with a child teaches the child a lot about self-esteem.
A child needs the emotional presence of a parent to have a healthy dose of self-confidence.
To be an emotionally present parent doesn’t mean to be “tooooo” involved in your child’s life.
It just means that you should always be there to encourage and to love your child when the need arises.
Too much involvement and complete negligence in and of your child’s life can lead to lower self-esteem.
I will tell you how.
Additionally, when parents are too doting, they tend to make decisions for their child and think for him.
This won’t give the child the needed space to develop his sense of self.
On the other hand, completely negligent parents or emotionally unavailable parents will leave the child feeling unloved and unworthy.
And this will also affect his sense of self.
The key, therefore, is balance.
Read on to know practical ways you can help build your child’s confidence.
What Are The Ways To Build Self-Confidence In A Child?
1. Get Your Child To Try New Things:
Children are different. Some may be more apt to trying different things and others may be a little bit more reserved.
Encourage both the child who is more prone to try new things and the one who isn’t.
Trying out new things is what makes children know what they are and not good at.
It builds their confidence in different abilities and gives them a sense of what they can excel at.
You can also teach them new things.
Show them how to do it first and then give them a chance to try it out.
Be careful to not overcorrect them but instead give them a chance to be proud of their efforts – no matter how bad.
2. Spend Time with Your Child:
Everyone wants to feel loved and worthy.
One way to make this happen in the minds of children is to spend time with them.
Children strive off on healthy attention.
When they are with their parents, especially for little children, they are more inclined to be free and open up more.
This way, you can get to know them and know what they’re good at.
You can also encourage them and chip in some ideas for them.
These little and healthy interactions are very important.
It shows the child that you care and that you will always be there to hear them out and encourage them…even when they fail.
3. Praise Your Children. . . Adequately:
First of all, modesty is everything. No truer words have ever been said than this. LOL.
You need to praise your child’s effort or success but don’t overdo it.
Overdoing it makes them either too complacent to try harder which can lead to arrogance.
Or it can make them even doubt their abilities because it comes out as forced praise.
For example, when your daughter comes back from soccer practice and is sad that she didn’t score a goal, don’t say “Chizzy, you played so well!
All eyes were on you! Don’t be sad.”
Instead say, “Chizzy, I can see why you’re sad. But I’m super proud of you for not giving up. I believe that next time will be better. All you just need is a little bit more focus and team play.”
The difference between the two is clear.
Encourage and praise them but don’t give them fake praises.
4. Do Not Make Your Child Feel Inferior or Small:
One way to make a child feel small or inferior is by insulting the child or comparing him/her with someone else, or worse, a sibling.
Appreciate each child’s uniqueness.
Try to avoid any form of insults or backhanded praise.
Avoid using too much sarcasm on a child especially one who doesn’t even know what sarcasm is.
Do not belittle your child’s feelings or experiences.
Always try to control your temper around your child.
Try not to yell too.
5. Give Age-Appropriate Assignments/Chores:
Giving children chores around the house doesn’t only make them responsible.
It helps them to be more confident.
This will help increase their feeling of competency.
It gives them this I-can-do-it mentality and will also come in handy when they are trying to solve problems.
I remember being so happy whenever my mom asked me to wash dishes.
Forget that I don’t like doing it now but at that age, it gave me some happiness that I could handle such a grown-up job. (Cue the eye roll and insufferable sigh).
6. Let Them Join In Decision-Making:
Children like being involved.
Involve them when making serious decisions for the family.
Ask for their input. For example, you can ask what the family should have for dinner or what everyone can do for Christmas.
If you want to go on a family vacation, asking them where they want to go is also important.
Be sure to ask when you seriously want to consider their opinions.
Even if you don’t later do what they wanted or go where they wanted, they learnt that their opinion matters and that it counts.
Also, you taught them a very important life lesson: that as much as their opinion matters, in the real world, it isn’t always used.
7. Teach Them That No One is Perfect:
Start early to tell your children that no one is good at everything.
No one can be a Jack of all trade and a master of all.
Tell them that many people are known for just one particular thing or skill.
And that even though they may know a lot of stuff, there’ll be one thing they are especially good at.
And that’s okay.
What’s the essence of this?
This will teach them to not beat themselves up too much over something they aren’t really good at.
And it will help them to focus more on skills they’re better at.
This focus will increase their self-confidence.
8. Let Them Make Mistakes:
As a parent, it is natural for you to want to make every choice for your children so that they won’t make a lot of mistakes.
What you don’t know is that mistakes help build strength and character in your children.
Take a step back and let them make their own choices.
Of course, you can give advice or tell them what you think but, don’t make every choice for them.
And don’t give advice in a way that your voice is the only thing they hear in their head.
They should be able to hear their voice too.
The most important thing is to let them know that no matter their choices and mistakes, you will always be there to love them.
And that you will always be there to catch them when they fall.
Many adults today don’t have confidence in themselves because their parents didn’t help build it in them when they were little children.
In fact, even you as a parent may be battling with self-confidence.
Just be sure to not add to the number of adults who battle this and try to ensure that your child is being helped.
Of course, we can’t always feel confident in ourselves.
But the number of times we feel self-confident should outweigh the other times we doubt ourselves.
Please, leave a comment – What do you think about these tips for building self-confidence in your child?
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